I’m sitting here watching Paris Is Burning, sipping on some Frozen Raspberry David’s Tea, and indulging myself with a rose water facial mask (thanks Ma!) and just doing a little reflection on my day today. I honestly didn’t do much, I taught a spin class, and then I went to a coffee shop for a few hours to do some work before heading to another workout (which was locked up when I got there… hm) and then I came home.
I know, that seems like a low key day, but it got me thinking about my average day and I realized that I spend a lot of time by myself. I’ve always been the kind to be alone a lot of the time and I’ve never felt bad about it, I have the type of personality that when I’m “on” I’m very “on” but then I need to be alone to just recharge and reconnect with myself. When I lived with roommates, I wasn’t really anti-social, but I’d spend a lot of the time alone in my room working on school or anything else I had to do. I have friends who constantly have friends around them and it would be absolutely exhausting for me, it’s why I have to live alone now, I can’t live with roommates.
In a world that glamourizes socializing and being out and about as much as possible, it can feel kind of taboo to some to spend time alone. FOMO can be a real thing for people who are constantly comparing their lives to those of people they follow on social media, and even those who do love spending time alone are spending less time alone because people believe spending time alone is kind of “faux pas”….
So I did some research to see if this was normal or if it was just me lol. Turns out there are some actual benefits to spending time alone, so I’m pretty happy about this.
It encourages independence.
They say that you are the average of the 5 people you hang around with most often, which a lot of the times can be great (as long as you have great people around you) but being alone actually gives us time to reflect on the things we learn from other people, new ideas, values, beliefs. Spending time alone also kind of forces us to think about and solve our own life problems and deal with any problems that may arrive individually.
It helps you value your relationships more.
Spending too much time with some people can spark codependence. Overexposure to the same friends/family members can be too much (aka annoying). It’s so important to give yourself a chance to miss them! Be away from them for a while so that when you are reunited you are way happier about it, you’ll value that time way more than you would if you spend all of your time with them anyways.
You get to know yourself.
I think I know myself pretty well and I definitely attribute it to spending time alone. I don’t have a problem going out to a movie or a dinner alone, and it allows me to learn about what I truly love and what I maybe thought I liked… but actually don’t. I love having this ability too because there’s bound to be movies or restaurants where I want to go but can’t find anyone to go with me. I don’t let that hold me back, and you may meet new people who like those types of activities too!
It can be fun.
If you can’t have fun with yourself, how in the hell are you going to have fun with anyone else? If you’re not fun to be around to yourself, are you fun to hang around with other people? I love taking myself on dates, it’s so fun! It pushes you out of your comfort zone and you may even find new activities that you didn’t know you liked.
On that note, I’m looking at taking a little trip later in the year (after I get back from my two week Euro trip) to take by myself… just to get away with myself. I’m thinking the outdoors and mountains…. something serene :). Any recommendations?
Love you, mean it. xx