I’ve never been one to have a huge group of friends really. I had different best friends throughout elementary school, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I had a big group of friends. I had my handful of people and that was all. Same when I got to high school. Our group consisted of about 5-6 girls, but by the end of high school most had moved away and I just kept to myself until I was finished. In college, I had a couple close friends, a couple girls from my program and I was really close with my roommate, but again, that was only about 3-5 people that I was truly close with. After college, I had some acquaintances that I would go out to bars with and whatnot, but until I started dating C, I wouldn’t say I had “close friends”. I became friends with his friends, and that was what the next 4 years of my life consisted of. I never felt like I was friends with his friends, they were my friends too – until we broke up. I quickly realized that after C and I split, I really didn’t have any close friends.

So began my few years of socializing in Toronto.

I had Patrick, to was and still is an absolute backbone in my life and I have no idea what I would do without him. He’s been there for me when I’ve been a massive bitch, when I’ve been through tough times, he’s always picked up my calls and talked me down when I was sobbing uncontrollably on the phone to him. Somehow he knows what my blubbers mean – that’s how much of a best friend he is to me. But the other people in my life were all there when I wanted to go out drinking, but weren’t really around much besides that. I don’t blame them fully, a part of that is my fault as well. Then I spent 1.5 years with someone who made me kind of forget about the fact that I should probably have friends. Patrick, again, was there by my side through the entire 1.5 years even if I went weeks without seeing him, and I had a couple close girlfriends too, one of which moved to Australia so it was kind of tough to see her…

Patrick & I

But again, for the most part I’ve never had a lot of friends. After the 1.5 years I spent with that person ended, I decided it was time to switch my focus. I’ve realized quick that I don’t have a solid support system, nor am I really part of a solid support system…. and that’s not cool to me. SO, instead of being all “Omg I need a boyfriend”, my focus has completely shifted to “Omg I need more friends, real, true, brutally honest, always there” type friends.

Part of the reason why I became an instructor, not going to lie, was so that I could meet other instructors and make friends and I honestly had no idea how quickly and how deeply I would connect with these people… First up (this is a timeline of when I met these people, not a ranking LOL), I became quick friends with A. A helped me get through my RPM training from the beginning and we just immediately connected from the beginning. She was the most fun EVER to team teach with, she gave me solid and constructive feedback and gave up so many of her classes so I could film myself to send in to become officially certified. She moved away for the better part of a year (AND she is coming back – she absolutely MUST or I’m travelling and kidnapping her myself) but when she comes back, 1. it’s like she never left and we just pick up where it left off. She’s hilarious, she makes me laugh, and she’s just one of those people who’s a shoulder to cry on if you need it. I saw her a few weeks ago and she went out of her way to take me with her wherever she went during our big fitness conference so I could meet other instructors too.

Me, E & A!

Which brings me to E. E is another RAD chick who I honestly still don’t know very well, but she’s cool AS SHIT. She’s travelling right now too with her beau, but when she gets back I will be kidnapping her from him to spend some serious time with her. She’s honestly soooooo cool and she’s got the same sense of humour as me, which I adore.

Then comes L. L is now my dude instructor friend who’s just so adorable in every sense of the word. He’s got a British accent (adorbs haha) but he’s just SO NICE. He’s soooooo in love with his girlfriend, I’m trying to convince him to let me plan their wedding, but he’s always making sure everything is good. I had a bit of an awkward situation at one point during our fitness conference, and he knew I was at the back of the room so he scouted me out from the front to give me the thumbs up to make sure I was all good. He’s also the one who’s GRIT class I take every Tuesday. We teach at the same time at the same gym on Wednesday nights so he always pops in to make sure I’m not completely dying. He’s just an all around good person and I’m glad him and I have become friends.

L & Me.. LOL

Then comes C. C and I became close reeeeeeeally quickly. She and A are also really close friends and so we’re all just one jumble of friends now. Lol. Anyways, C and I went for dinner last night, and I’m probably like, obsessed with her. She is a super hero in every sense of that word. She teaches like 20 different classes a week plus she does her own workouts, is a VP and then runs her own business as well. I also think she rescues children from burning buildings at night but she won’t admit that to me quite yet. Her and I have this oddly amazing connection because of different experiences we’ve both had in our lives that are almost completely identical. She is like, the most loyal human, she’s nice, she’s beautiful, she pegged my entire personality from the moment we met. We talk every day about anything, and she’s so reassuring that if I EVER need her for anything she’s there. The feeling is mutual C. I am just complete in awe of her and I’m totally stoked that we hit it off like we did.

C & Moi

My point? I learned the hard way that when you don’t have friends, everything in life is so much harder. Friends are those people who have your back no matter what.. When I lost a person who I thought was my everything and I didn’t have many friends to help, it felt like my entire world was crashing. Friends help you deal and are there to talk and just make things like that so much easier to get through. It doesn’t even need to be broken-romance-related! They are there if you had a shit ass day at work, or if you’re going through a tough time in any area of your life. Or maybe to help you celebrate the wins in your life or to just show you when you’re being stupid. Friends are what I’m missing in my life and so – screw relationships right now, friendships are where it’s at. With the right people they are so fulfilling and are just happiness all bundled up. If you have those friendships right now, don’t take them for granted!!! Nurture them, care for them and allow them to grow. But whatever you do, do not let them go. Hold them tight AF.

Shout outs to all the friends obviously I didn’t mention; Elyse, Melanie, Ligia, Jodi, Melissa (we have no photos together FYI)…. You’re all such solid and amazing humans and have played such an integral part of my life over the last few years, more than you’ll ever know <3

Elyse & I

Jodi & I

Ligia & I (before Barre killed me)

Melanie & I

I love you guys xoxoxoxox